Valtentine's Day wish to Bin Laden

[LazarusLong]

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,"she asks, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: "No, I don't think God would get mad. To whom do you want to give a Valentine?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.

"Well,"she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's very noble. It's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard."

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the dirty motherfucker..."

[Nodack]

Nice. That reminds me of another somebody sent me yesterday.

A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of "house of ill repute" and knocked on the door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have a disease?" Of course the Madam said "No". He said, "But I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. And "THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right and he headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he came back,still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and was headed out the door when the Madam stopped him, and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?
"He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.
When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home and on the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the disease.
Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter' s, he and Mum will go to bed and have one and Mum will catch it.
In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and he will catch the disease, and He's the bastard who ran over my Frog!"

[LazarusLong]

Now you've gone and done it ...

.
.
.

One day, a frog hops into a bank with a small knapsack on his back.

He hops onto a teller's counter and asks," I need to borrow some money, please."

The teller is stunned, but recovers her poise," I can't handle that transaction. You need to see our loan officer, Ms. Patricia Wack."

So the frog hops down the aisle and hops onto the desk of the loan officer.

"I need to borrow some money, please."

The loan officer said tartly, "We don't give money to frogs!"

The frog replied," Why not, I have collateral?"

"We just don't do that," she said, exasperated.

"I want to see the bank manager, then," said the frog.

The bank manager is summoned,"What's the fuss?

The frog says, "I want to borrow some money, and I have collateral."

With that, the frog reached into his knapsack and handed a small ceramic elephant with gold inlay to the manager.

The manager regarded the item for a time, cleared his throat and addressed the loan officer:

"That's a knick-knack, Patty Wack -- give the frog a loan."

[Nodack]

You can tell when the Suns season is in full swing because the politics folder goes into hybernation. It's been a nice break. Doctor G and me get along great in the Suns area and Andy and Indy are irritated by me there.

Same people talking about different topics gets you a wide range of opinions. I must like it because I keep coming back. Thanks for participating in these discussions over the years guys.

[Indy]

Doctor G and me get along great in the Suns area and Andy and Indy are irritated by me there.

That is exactly why I love this place.

[Nodack]

I was thinking about LB coming back and the talk of whether he should get minutes or not and thought of an analogy between the Suns and the present state of politics.

Politics is similar to a basketball team. As Americans we are all part of the same team. Sometimes the Republicans are the starters and sometimes the Democrats are the starters depending on the mood of the American voters and how well the two sides perform in games. In basketball the goal is to win a championship and all the players do their part to make the team better whether they are starting or coming off the bench.

In Politics we are all on the same team, but when one group is benched and the other side becomes the starters the two groups don't support each other for the good of the team at all. In politics the bench does everything in their power to make the starters look as bad as possible, so that the American people will bench them and vote to make the other side the starters next time.

As the team CEO I would be a little concerned because there is no way in hell a team can win a championship when half the team is doing everything in their power to lose every game you play. As a coach you have to say this bench is hurting the team in a big way, so I will just have to go with the starters if the bench refuses to be part of the team. We won't win too many games that way but at least we will all be on the same page. All the bench can do now is talk shit about the starters in the press and hope the starters fail.

As a member of the American fan club I am pretty sure my team isn't going to the playoffs because they are too busy fighting each other instead of fighting together for the good of the team.

That's my NBA/Politics analogy. I hope you enjoyed it.

[Indy]

But the problem is they are not on the same team. They are two companies (make no mistake about that) that fight each other for power and money.

But I liked your story.

[Nodack]

Hey, this is my analogy and they are basketball players in mine.

The owners of the team are the American people. We decide who gets to play on the team. The league we play in is the World League and in the Health Care Playoffs they have all play zone defense and win twice as often as our man to man no help defense does.

They both love to be starters and hate to be on the bench. The Republicans like to play a grind it out offense and the Democrats like to run and gun. Both think if the other side fails that they win by getting their starting job back in the end, so losing games is ok in the short term.

Unfortunately with this team we will always be self destructing until they start placing the priority on winning games instead of being starters. They can be fired. Unfortunately 90% of the players available in the draft are Democrats and Republicans.

[Indy]

They can be fired. Unfortunately 90% of the players available in the draft are Democrats and Republicans.

Ok, so let's say we change the name of the parties in charge, does that make any difference?

[Nodack]

I had to think on that trying to figure out what you meant. You mean just change the names of the parties to something else or vote in two new parties?

Either one isn't going to happen most likely and probably don't make a difference.

Our bench refuses to go in the game and insist they could do a lot better job than the starters. The coach Obama was a fellow Democrat so he has aligned himself with his fellow Democrat starters pretty well.

The MSNBC sports has given its full support to the team, but has chastised the bench for not being team players.

CNN Sports has given the team some good and bad reviews and thinks the whole team has issues.

FOX Sports has declared the team a complete failure brought on by a horrible coach and starters that can't play any defense and are out of control on offense, but has praised the bench for staying true to their noble cause.

[Indy]

vote in two new parties?

That is what I meant. And I agree that it won't matter. You will still be in the same place, with both groups fighting each other for money and power (not for America).